Saturday, December 3, 2011

(AF) I Love Dave Because ....

This post isn't about recipes, critters, alternative energy, self reliance, farming, canning, or anything of the like, but it was on my mind and I had to take a moment to post it, anyway.

My entire life I have found myself in a continual pattern of bad relationships (with the exception of the last two, of course).... most of them seeming to fall into the category of 'controllers.' For various reasons, people tend to do that .... get stuck in a distinct pattern of falling for the exact same personality type, over, and over, and over. There are many reasons why this happens, and when it does, it can be extremely hard to break that pattern. Often times, the pattern will continue on for years, decades, even an entire lifetime. If you can relate to this paragraph at all, it might be time to consider doing some deep soul searching so that you can break free from your pattern. These patterns are not easy to break, but with time, patience and work, they CAN be broken and the little bit of effort it takes is so very worth it in the end!

After nearly half a century of life, sometime in the past year and a half I managed to break my bad dating pattern and the rewards have been amazing!!! Although they tragically ended abruptly, I had two great relationships after I finally broke free of my bad relationship pattern, and I felt blessed. Then Dave came along. Dave is unlike anyone I have ever dated, and I am glad! Oddly enough, he is more like me than anyone I have ever dated. It was by odd coincidence that our paths crossed, and I will always cherish the day that they did. Only, I don't really think that in situations like this, it is coincidence at all. It is a blessing, a blessing far beyond my expectations.

I love Dave for so many reasons I couldn't possibly list them all in one post, so I will warn you, this post may turn into a little series all it's own. But today, as I was out pulling hay for the goats, one particular reason was running through my head and making me smile. (My mind often drifts to thoughts of Dave as I am doing mundane chores.)

You see, in the past, my relationships have been with men that were intimidated if I knew how to do something they didn't. It's an Inflated Ego and/or a Control Freak thing. Regardless of whether or not I knew a better way to do something, I had to do it 'their way' to keep peace. Their way was best, regardless, because they were the man. I wasn't suppose to be smart enough to know something they didn't. And if 'he' didn't know how to do something at all, I was to fain stupidity to keep peace (and said task was either left undone or a professional hired to get the job done.) And heaven forbid suggest showing one of these men how to do something! To suggest that they didn't know how to do something that I did, wounded their ego beyond comprehension, often resulting in serious consequences for me. So I learned to always fain stupidity. And to ask one of them to show me how to do something they knew how to do was unthinkable! Their attitude on that was, "You are too dumb to learn that." and/or "There is no point in you learning how when I already know how." Such nonsense!

In a good relationship, each person brings to it what they are best at, being supportive of each others abilities and skills. They blend ALL of their skills and abilities together to create an even better, much more enhanced life together as one. And this is one of the things I love so much about Dave! This is how life with Dave is.

Often times, when Dave and I are working on a project together, the project may require multiple skills (as projects usually do).  When, on occasion, I have exhibited a skill that Dave lacked, his take on it has been, "Show me how so we can do that together." Oh, I can't tell you what a warm, fuzzy feeling that gives me!! And when he discovers he has a skill I don't possess, he offers, "Would you like for me to teach you how to do that?" Gosh, I love him! And I look so forward to him teaching me a few of his many skills around the farm. It will be such enjoyable quality time together.

I am sharing this because..... I want people that are in bad relationship patterns to know that they aren't alone. Often times, people in bad relationship patterns can't see that they are in a pattern, and I am hoping that by sharing all of this, I can help at least one person see.  I want people to know that bad relationship patterns can be broken. Despite the hard work it may take, the bad patterns need to be broken. AND.... The rewards of breaking those old, bad relationship patterns are FANTASTIC and immeasurable! .... well worth the effort it takes to get there. Blessings in love to you all!


  1. Oh Honey, that is so sweet. I love you too!!!!!!

  2. OK, you two. Get a room. lol.

    No but really, that is an amazing testament of mutual respect and love. I'm so happy for you both. It's nice to know there's still some of that out there!


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